Bride to Be 💜

Today I went to the most beautiful bridal shower for the most beautiful soul, whom I had the pleasure of spending time with when she was younger.

I'd go to her home and she would tell me about school and her interests. She was full of young energy and tween angst and I would listen and then we'd look into the Word.

A diamond then and even more so now, today had me full with happiness and emotion in the realisation that a new chapter in her life is about to begin. 

I'd received a text a week or so before asking if I could bring along a carrot cake and also share some advice about marriage with her at the Bridal Shower. After my initial mental pause to boundary assess my actual availability (I'm new to this), I agreed to do it. Fast forward to this morning and I took a moment to pause and think, 'what would actually be valuable to share?'.

I thought about some things that I am learning in my marriage and attempted to reduce my complex reflections into advice that would be encouraging yet authentic and real.

This evening as I sit here writing this, I am contemplating on the fact that I am approaching 15 years married and 20 years together. I think about how little I knew and still don't know, but my heart feels warm and married life continues to be an adventure. 

In marriage, there are no guarantees, just a leap of faith into a journey you couldn't possibly map out. A journey into the unknown, one that will stretch you to your limits.

It is a journey that only you can walk together. Hand in hand. Helped or hindered by your strengths, weaknesses.

I look back at this picture of me on my bridal shower/hen night standing at the door of the unknown, I want to say thank you to younger me, for taking the leap.

Marriage has simultaneously been better and harder than I ever thought it would be. But the advice I gave at the shower best explains what has gotten me through up until now.

Advice for Naomi

Be patient, neither of you are the final article and you have lots to grow, so give each other space to do so.

Work on accepting him in the fullness of who he is today and not who you imagine he can become.

When things are really bad, remember that it can and it will get better.

Pray for and surround yourself with friends that will listen to you rant, empathise, but then call you to a higher standard in Jesus.

Have fun, don't be too serious too soon. Create memories and have adventures.

As you create a new identity as a wife within marriage,  remember to check in with yourself and who you are as an individual. 

It is almost inevitable to lose your personal identity over the next 10 years or so as your family expands. Don't be shocked or blame hubby when you come to that realisation. Just enjoy the journey of discovering the new evolved and grown you.

Lastly, I asked my hubby what advice he would give to a new bride and he added "He didn't mean it like that".